I have Diverticulitis (Mom almost suceeded in killing me.

When my family doctor asked the woman who is supposed to be my mother if she was trying to kill me, I never imagined he meant literally. I know now. On Wednesday night I began having abdominal pain on the right side which steadily got worse. Since I had all the symptoms of appendicitis I went to the E.R. Several hours later it was determined it was not my appendix, and was told it was kidney stones. However, upon release the doctor informed me to return if I got a fever, the pain got worse, nausea and diarrhea started to come back immediately. Twelve hours later I was back in the ER in intense pain a temperature, nausea and diarrhea.

 

I was given a more intense CAT scan which found it was not kidney stones but diverticulitis. Diverticulitis is a condition in which pouches form in the wall of the colon and become infected. The infection can lead to inflammation or infection. The symptom are usually pain in the abdomen often on the left side (Mine is on the right side and the infection is near the appendix from what I understand), fever and chills, bloating and gas, diarrhea or constipation, nausea with occasional vomiting, and not feeling like eating (Web MD, 2009).

 

Treatment includes being admitted to the hosital and being given IV fluids and antibiotics, as well as pain management. Most often a liquid diet is also prescribed. If this treatment method is not sucessful, surgery to remove the dieased area of the colon is done. Tomorrow morning I will have a CAT scan to detirmine if my diverticulitis is healing or if surgery is needed.

 

However, even being told what was causing the intense pain, I was at a loss as to what contributed to me being back in the hospital. I find it interesting that diverticulitis is a lifestye illness, brought on by not eating healthy, not getting enough exercise and having intense stress which may be viewed as unamanagle  (Health-Cares.net, 2005). Due to my fiance and I agreeing to eat a more healthy diet and excercising more, I was amazed that I developed this illness. After all I start eating extremly healthy and working out on a regular basis and I end up with an illness in which bad eating habits and lack of exercise can contribute.

 

The stress issue is in a leaque all by itself. After all the doctors and other medical professionals have stated the woman who is supposed to be my mother is purposly doing things to try and upset me. I could give you many details but will not fill my journal with page after page of them. A couple examples of her behaviors to upset me are things such as when she heard I was admitted to the hospital and it was serious (upon admission surgery was being considered intensly because of my level of pain), she managed to call me and ask how long I woud be in the hospital. I told her I was unsure, I had heard anywhere from a week to longer. Her response was “Oh, well when you get to come home bring me a diet coke”. She also has taken to drinking my grandson’s baby juice just to annoy me because I find it appalling that the woman will take from a 3 month old baby. Again, I could go on and on but will refrain from doing so.

 

Back to diverticulitis, I asked the doctors if I could have had this building for a while. I asked due to the fact that for the last couple months I can only eat a very small amount and would get an upset stomach or I simply was not hungry and had to force mysel to eat. The doctor informed me that is exactly what happened in his opionion. Thus, I started thinking about when eating was followed by neusea or not being hungry and if the instances occurred more often after one of the woman’s attacks. I also, asked friends and family who were aware of how little I was eating and time frames. Guess what? After she started I tended to have more neusea, or not eating. The more upset she was able to cause the worse my symptoms.

 

With that said I now wonder if some of the pain has eased because I have been in the hospital and my children and fiance will not give her my phone number or room number, nor will they bring her to see me. I am still in pain and other than jello yesterday and today I have not had anything to eat and really I am not hungry. Resting the digestive track is another part of the treatment which is why the clear liquids. The pain is still there, but when I was admitted and the doctor would try to press on the area that hurt it would bring tears to my eyes. The pain was unexplainable even after being give morphene. As,  I said I am still in pain and given morphenem but when the area is pressed it causes more pain, but not so intense I am tears. My fear is that if I am lucky enough to not have surgery, will the symptoms come back as soon as I get to go home? Is it something that is going to reoccur until the time comes and the woman is out of my life completely?

 

One study conducted for the End Diverticuitis Reference found that stress is the primary cause of a person having a diverticulitis flare up. This actually makes sense since stress can cause the body to not properly digest foor. When stress is high the body sends blood and oxygen to areas of the body that combat the stress, thus meaningless is directed to the digestive system. Therefore, a person may have diverticuli the body is fighting so there is little or no symptoms and the illness can heal without the person ever having knowledge of having the infection. Thus, the body is spending blood and oxygen to combat the infection and then a stressful situation occurs and the blood and oxygen is diverted away from the digestive system allowing the diverticulitis to fester until medical treatment is required  (Dahl, n.d.).

 

This information is distrubing to me, mix it with the fact the woman who is supposed to be my mother is a narcissist and it makes the situation even worse. While NPD is a personality disorder and some may argue the narcissist is unaware of how their actions are improper and how they abuse people, I disagree. We have pointed out to the woman that she is a narcissist and per usual she will not admit it. I have heard everything from me needing professional help because of creating such a lie about her after all she has done for me. To someone brainwashing me against her. She simply refuses to see what the doctor said is true. Her behaviors and lack of empathy are kiling me.

 

My fiance and children have informed her of my health problems, and that it will take time to heal completely and yet she does not care. I really believe I could drop dead right now and she would not care or be upset, but she would be mad because I had the audacity to die before buying her a diet coke. Does this mean the narcissitic woman is truly evil?

 

I am going to say yes, because with all of this going on, my fiance attempted to keep everyone informed thatI may be laid up or some time and thus stil not back to work. He did not ask the woman for money or imply that we would, since I do not care how sick I am, the woman needs to get out of my house on the 3^rd. My children were there for the conversation they all heard exactly the same thing. The woman on the other hand called my aunt and fed her a line of crap on how we were taking all of her money, and refusing to give it to her. Yes, that’s right she is now accusing me of stealing what she doesn’t have even though I am in a hospital bed.

 

The woman is evil there is no other way around it. I have decided if my aunt decides to buy into the woman’s bullshit and start in on how bad I am to the woman and so forth, my response will be, The woman will be on the next plane back to Indiana and my aunt can deal with her. I refuse to let her kill me.

 

This means unless my aunt wants her back, which I doubt, she is going to the nursing home. I will stop in once a week and check with the nurses and staff to see how she is and to drop off one 12 pack of diet cokes per week. Granted I do not have to do this, but it buys me peace from the daily phone call of her needing diet coke for its medicinal purposes (laughs, that is an entirly new post, but the woman feels diet coke will stop teeth from hurting, cure an upset stomach and much more).

 

Now, that I have researched and answered the questions I had about diverticulitis I am going to let the medications put me into a deep sleep as they have done for the last several days. I am going to attempt to not think of home and the woman, because doing so only upset me. I have decided to explain my home life and the woman to the specialists I will see in the morning while trying to get an idea if the clinical treatment methods are working, about how long that process takes and if the stress at home is still intense will it cause a relapse if not completely healed when I am released. The nurse seems to think I will not be released right away because of my pain level and inability to even handle jello.

 

While I do not relish the idea of staying in a hospital for any extended period, I also do not want to go home and be immediately subjected to an attack and have to come right back . I do not put it past her since I am sure I will hear about not talking to her while I was here or not ensuring she had diet cokes an so forth.

 

For the record I undertand that the fact the woman can push my buttons and cause undue stress for me and enjoys doing so, for whatever reason I am not able to just ignore it so she can not affect my physical, mental and emotional health. A part of not able to handle the stress she causes is due to her being in my home allowing me no escape from her constant verbal abuse which will continue until I am upset, she then yells at me that she is the elder and I should talk to her respet. And with that line I am upset all over again. I must learn a better way of handling this added stess and move past the anger to be use I have no other flare up, but at the same time the woman can and does get under my skin and does so intentionally

 

So for now, Good night All.

 

PS, Please forgive the mispelling and errors in grammer. The medications I am on cause my brain to not function as well as it should.

 

References

Dahl, G. (n.d.). Diverticulitis and Stress. Retrieved Jan 26, 2009, from http://ezinearticles.com/?Diverticulitis-and-Stress&id=694163

Health-Cares.net. (2005). What is diverticulitis?Retrieved Jan 20, 2009, from http://digestive-disorders.health-cares.net/diverticulitis.php

Web MD. (2009). Diverticulitis – Topic Overview. Retrieved Jan. 20, 2009, from Web MD: http://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/tc/diverticulitis-topic-overview